Introspection and Resurrection

((Due to length issue this is broken into two parts. This is part one))

“Hueco Mundo. Home of the Hollow. Home of creatures dark and powerful. Home of many secrets lost to all. Home of nothing, and of everything. Who is to say what lies within the world of sand and bloody roars. Who is to say indeed. Who is to tell you that it is dangerous? Who is to say it is not? Who is to say that things are easy to find here? Who is to say it is not? Who would dare to look you in the eyes here? Who would dare to blink? Who is the fool? Who is the ignorant? Who? Who? Who? The weak, that’s who. Those that would seek to disillusion you. Those that would seek to harm you. Those that are jealous. Those that hate. Those that are mad. Hueco Mundo…

It is here in Hueco Mundo that there are three significant places. The infamous Las Noches. The massive fortress built longer than anyone cares to remember. Not that anyone is still alive to remember it’s construction. If anyone is still alive to remember…well, they are certainly on their death bed. Las Noches is home of the most powerful Hollow. The Espada. Numbers ten to zero. Though, most of the lower Hollow don’t know this information. Within the confinements of Las Noches lies a King as well. He is rarely seen, however. Many question his extistence. Those that don’t question it? Well they usually don’t know. Las Noches is the most easily spotted thing in Hueco Mundo. Just standing outside it’s wall is enough to break weaker Hollow.

The second is the most commonly known. The White Sands Dessert. It is here where Adjucha roam. What are the Adjucha? Well to put it simply. They are beasts. They are far more beastly than any of the Hollow. It is at this point in the Hollow’s life where they truly find what they are. Many Hollow don’t make it past this point in there life. But some do. They go on to be something….powerful. We will discuss this part later though. Now then. The White Sands Dessert, more or less, IS Hueco Mundo. It covers everything. It extends from one side to the other. From top to bottom. It hides the Menos Forrest. It touches Las Noches. It is everything that Hueco Mundo has to offer.

The third thing is the Menos Forrest. It is not truly a forest though. Well…I suppose it could be. Who is to say? It depends on how you view a forest. It is not made of trees from nature. No. It is made of quartz. I suppose in a way it is nature. But this is neither the time nor the place to discuss this. The Menos Forest is home to the weakest Hollow. The Menos Grande. They are tall beasts. Powerful too. Raw, untamed, unchecked power. It takes a handful of Shinigami to take down one. It may be the weakest as far as evolution is concerned though. But do not let that cloud your judgement. It. Can. And. Will. KILL. You. It. Can. And. Will. KILL. You. Don’t forget that. Meno Grande roam this forest. They kill each other. They feast. Sometimes they will come out. That is when we get involved. We will kill them. As we must. We are Shinigami. We are strong. We are powerful. We are valiant. We. Are. Shinigami. Strong. Powerful. Valiant. And the only ones who can defend against the Hollow.

It is our duty. It is our right. We were chosen by the Powers That Be. We were chosen by our Zanpakuto. We can do this. Now then. Are you ready to go? Or will you stay here and cower in fear? Will you be weak? Or will you be strong? No matter. I am going out anyway. It is what is right. It is what is needed. I am going. Come with me if you wish. Remember. They. Can. And. Will. Kill. You…Say it with me damnit! They. Can. And. Will. Kill. You. Good. I think you get it then. For the King! For glory! For honor! And of course fawning women.”

“Shit…I…I can’t move. What the fuck? What the fuck! I…I can’t feel my legs. My fucking legs!!! What happened? Tell me what happened?!...What?...No. No. No. No! I…I can’t die. Not here. Not now! No! My legs! Give me my legs! Fix me! You’re the fucking healer. So heal me you bitch! Heal me! Someone fucking help me! Where are my legs!”

These words. They rang in this Hollow’s head. Day in he heard them. Day out he heard them. They never left his mind. They never faded from his body. He couldn’t remember the name. It was something…something easy? Who knows. That was in the past. It was well over five hundred years ago. Which is about the time he has been this way. A Gillian that is. He hates this body. This Hollow despises it. It’s so weak. So pathetic. It was dependant upon the stupidity of others. Well…he supposed that is the way the world works. The weak pray on the stupid. The strong pray on the weak. And somehow, the stupid pray on the strong. It is weird like that. Everyone wins. But everyone loses. It is a parasitic thing. To be a Hollow, that is. You feed off of others. Literally and metaphorically.

This particular Gillian is not like the average Menos Grande. He isn’t like them at all. He thinks. He feels. He knows. He understands. He studies. He listens. He watches. He adjusts. This Gillian is dangerous. Like any other creature of his kind. A dangerous beast, is one that thinks. One that can plan. One that can understand. Gillian are weak. They are weak compared to their higher forms. What about in reality? They are strong. In numbers they can obliterate you. Anything less than a Lieutenant fights these creatures in a pack. Even some of them have to have back up. The question is always the same. How do you tell? How can you see the difference? Is there a difference? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. One million times, yes. So many fail to see it though.

What is the difference? Is it large? Is it small? What difference does it make? If you notice it, you might live. If you don’t…well…you might die. This difference is simple. It’s the mask. After all, what else could be different? Hollow are Hollow no matter where you go. Their mask is what defines them. Or at least in this part of their life. Their mask makes them unique. Assuming they are truly different. If they are just another sheep in the heard, they have a standard mask. No matter the mask though, one thing remains. They must feed. Feeding is what drives them. Feeding is what fuels them. To gain power and grow they feast. They eat each other. Even if the bite isn’t fatal, but usually it is, they will eat. They will not stop with one. They will feast. More and more, until they are all that remains.

This hunger drives this Gillian crazy. It makes him insane. He despises it. He hates it. He doesn’t want to feast. He doesn’t want to be hungry. He doesn’t want to be. He just wants to grow. He wants to grow on his own. He despises the need to have to plot. Not if he will only be killing those which will be his slaves. Yes. Slaves. He plans to one day be strong. A Vasto Lorde. That is what he will be. He will come back and amass an army. They will march upon the human world. They will conquer. They will win. He knows where the true power of Hueco Mundo lies. It is not with the Vasto Lordes. It is not with the Adjucha. It is with the Gillian. The Menos Grande hold the power. They are what makes this place strong. They are what keeps this place running. The Shinigami cannot hope to survive. The Vasto Lordes cannot hope to survive. All because of the Menos Grande. Without them, the Vasto Lordes would be wiped out. The Shinigami would thrive. All things Hollow related can be traced back to them.

Valintine. That was the name of this Gillian. Nothing was going to stop him. He would obtain Vasto Lorde. He would obtain freedom. He would obtain power. No. Not power. Not power, so much as a way out. He didn’t care about power. Or at least not in the sense of mass destruction kind of power. He just wanted freedom. He wanted to get out of this body. It felt like his mind was not safe here. He tore himself apart inwardly. The beat he is. No. The beast he will be. It is there. It is inside of him. It wants to be free. It wants to take over his body. It calls for blood. It is the source. The source of his hunger. The reason he starves. The reason he needs to feed. Of course he can only get stronger by feeding. Such things don’t matter though. He doesn’t care about that. Not when you throw in this beast.

The Gillian lived alone. He ate alone. He thought alone. He had never come across any like him. Or at least none that were living. The life of a Menos Grande is a sad one. Well, sad for those who don’t enjoy isolation. If you don’t, and you die…pray the Shinigami get to you. If you become a Gillian, you might have to get a different mask. You might think. You might feel. And you will want death. You will crave it. Valintine did at first. Not because he was lonely. No. He couldn’t care less about that. People annoy him. Hollow annoy him more. He wanted death because of what he was. The memories of being a Shinigami. The memories of being human. It overwhelmed him. It swarmed his mind. It plucked at the strings of his humanity. It threatened to break him. He wouldn’t though. He wouldn’t back down. He was not going to be Life’s whipping boy. He was not going to be anybody’s pet.

He was laying down. In the forest he was once told about. Everything he had heard was true. Everything, except for Las Noches. He had never seen it. He had never heard of it. Therefore, it didn’t exist. That silly nameless Shinigami was a fool. He was a dead fool now, but a fool all the same. He didn’t know. He never saw. He never experienced. He was always a loud mouthed loser. He was always looking for attention. He would say anything to get it. Is it bad to speak ill of the dead? Of course it is. Did Valintine care? Not really. If he died now, he’d just go back to Soul Society. Nothing would happen. He would stay in the system. He would get passed around like a rag doll. Wanted not in Hell. Nor was he wanted in Soul Society. Here, he is just a number. Nobody notices him. Why should they? He looks slightly different? What sense does that make? That is the worst kind of ally. That is the worst kind of slave.

A slave who thinks is bad. A slave who knows is bad. A slave who has purpose is bad. You have a true slave you break them. You shatter their souls. You crush their spirits. Make them think low of themselves. Once you have done that, you have a slave. A mindless drone who does as they’re told. Why? Well why not? They do not believe they are worth anything. They believe they are nobody. When you truly believe that. When you feel you cannot do anything alone. You seek aid. You seek guidance. You seek a master. Valintine would not be anyone’s slave. He wouldn’t do it. Not if you paid him. Not if you gave him unlimited power. Not if you gave him the world on a fucking silver platter.

Nobody was going to tame this Hollow. Not a damn person. Living or alive, they would fail. Valintine was not to be toyed with. Even now, as a Gillian. He was the master. The rest were his slaves. He was the Puppeteer. They were his puppets. He manipulated them. He used them. He didn’t give two shits about their lives. The Gillian were his bitches. They were his hoes. He was the pimp. He was top dog around here. Funny though, that he despised dogs. Almost as much as he despised Shinigami. Do not get him mistaken. He doesn’t despise the Shinigami for hunting him and his kind. No. That is the way life works. This is a circle. A deadly circle that never ends. It will never wear down. It will never fade. This is something that Valintine learned early on. How did he come across such information? Simple.

The Hollow cannot die. Well…they can die, but not in the sense that most humans would imagine. They will, assuming they have been relatively good, go to the Soul Society. If they were bad, well they go to Hell. They go to the Soul Society for the most part. There, they enter the Rukongai. Maybe if they are lucky, they are taken in by a Noble Family. Nonetheless, they might enter the Shinigami Academy. Should they enter, they will be trained. They will be taught to kill Hollow. They will be taught that they are evil and vile creatures. Ironic how they might have been a Hollow before themselves. They would have no memory of it though. None what-so-ever. Anyway, the Shinigami student will graduate. He will grow in power. Maybe make it to a third seat. Maybe even captain. At that point they will seek to make a name for themselves. To try and engrave themselves into history. An admirable desire. Most done make it though. Why? Because they are killed. At which point, they become a Hollow. The process repeats.

So it is quite possible that a number of “famous” Shinigami started out as Hollow at one point or another in their life. Valintine knows this. So he hates not the Hollow nor the Shinigami. Or at least…he used to not hate the Shinigami. They are not all they seem to be. The preach a lot. They talk a lot. They practice little though. The walk little too. That is why he hates them. They abandoned him. His friend was abandoned too. There were plenty of things that could have been done. Valintine spoke out in his friend’s defense. He was punished for it. He was severely punished for speaking out. This angered him. This annoyed him. It was something that he never forgot. He would never forget it. If he ever got his human body back he would make sure of it. He wouldn’t die to become a slave to the Shinigami. No. Not again. Not ever. Not ever, indeed.

And so here he is. The Gillian known as Valintine. The Hollow whom is a face in the crowd. He is unknown to most. He will never be known for now. He will obtain his second form though. He will gain his Adjucha form. He will do it and make a name for himself. He will start again with his original title. The title that most took to mean something good. Those people are dead now. Their blood is on his hands. Or at least it was, when he had hands. What was his name? Valintine of the Silver Tongue. Now though he was just a body. A really really tall body. A body with no hands to strangle with. No tongue to show his silver. Oh well, cest la vie. He had picked up that bit of French in the Soul Society.

Today would be like most days for the Gillian. He would awaken. He’d be hungry. He’d find the meeting spot. He’d cause panic. He’d start trouble. He’d wait. He’d eat. That is the order of things. Gillian were so easy to manipulate. It almost made him feel bad. Almost. He rose from his resting place and twisted his body a bit. He found this nice little spot of the forest. He rested easy at night. Nobody came by here. No Hollow knew of this section as far as he knew. Surely some Hollow in the past knew. But they weren’t here now. No Hollow ever came by. It was a safe place to sleep. He didn’t have to worry about being bitten by anyone.

He began to walk…if you can call it walking. It was awkward movement. It was strange for him. He found it was rather difficult at first. For the few decades after being a Hollow he was annoyed by it. He couldn’t do it. That pissed him off. He eventually got used to it. He was able to vaguely do what resembled a run. It was still awkward. He tilted from this way to that. His upper half sometimes leaned over. You’d think you’d notice. You’d be wrong. You’d be very wrong. Could you keep up with over two hundred feet of yourself? You are, more or less, one giant muscle. It’s like being blinding and holding a ruler that is broken at the other end. You do not see it’s broken. You don’t know it’s broken. You just hope that it is still in one piece.

He walked though, as awkward as it was. He knew where to go. There was an entire forest here. Despite that, there was one area where Menos Grande gathered. One area where they would always be. This area seemed to attract the Menos Grande of the lesser kind. They always hung around there. They never seemed to leave. They just stood there. Sometimes they moved. He frowned inwardly at this. They were so dumb. He hoped that stupidity wasn’t contagious. If it was, he was screwed. If it wasn’t he’d be okay. He knew it wasn’t. Sometimes he wondered though. He truly wondered. Maybe it would be better if he didn’t. Maybe it would be better if he did. Who knows. Oh well.

Valintine traveled silently. He had no one to talk to. Yes. Gillian spoke. It was a harsh language. It was violent. It was blood thirsty. It was rough. Gillian understood it. Adjucha didn’t though. Vasto Lordes didn’t understand. Yes. It is a bit of an odd thing. To have once spoken a language and now not understand. But that is the way of the Hollow. Gillian are never understood by the others. They may be every now and then. A handful of people will understand what they are saying. They will understand their speech. Those people usually don’t stick around though. The language of the Gillian is harsh. It is rigid. It is choppy. It hurts many people’s ears. Sometimes most Gillian can’t stand it. They are usually the weakest of the bunch. Why? Because they don’t eat. They don’t feast. They don’t come to draw blood. Valintine would though.

Valintine hated the language. He hated the Gillian. He hated everything about them. Their dumb masks. Their stupid bodies. Their annoying language. He hated everything. He hated living as such a beast. Such a thing shouldn’t exist! But no. There must always be a weakling. Always must their be a bottom. He was it. He was the weaker of the bunch. He wouldn’t always be though. An Adjucha is what he would become. Such a thing had to be. It. Had. To. Be. It WOULD be, as well.

Valintine arrived at the site. He smiled inwardly at the Hollow. He was going to have a wonderful meal. There were more Hollow than usual here. He didn’t care though. He just would enjoy this. He knew what to do. He knew what he was going to do. He would bump into someone on the edge. They would turn. They would bite. He would move. They’d bite someone else. That Hollow would turn. They would fight. Roars would be let loose. The rest would be thrown into a frenzy. Biting would start. Fighting gets out of control. It was a wonderful sight. Valintine did this. He moved in. He bumped into another. They turned. They bit. He ducked. Another was hit. They bit back. Roars were sent into the air. The rest joined in.

The biting prevented them for going up the chain. They didn’t know this though. They only knew death. That was a terrible terrible thing. To be such a thing. To know nothing others than blood lust was signing off one’s life. It reminded him of the Kenpachi. Kenpachi had a rep for being brutal. For being horrible beasts. They were Shinigami. They were swordfighters. They were monsters. Valintine hated them. He wanted nothing to do with them. They were all the same. All of them sought battle. They all sought glory. They would willingly throw their lives away. They’d toss reason to the wind if it meant a “good fight”. They were beasts in his eyes. To him, they needed to be put down. They needed to be killed. If they weren’t? Well then, they would corrupt. Their lust for battle would spread. Nothing would be done to stop it. Nothing would stop it. Nothing would prevent this. Nothing but the death of Kenpachi.

Valintine watched the fight. He picked his time. Once the majority had been injured and were weak he went it. He ended the lives of the dying. He took the pain from the suffering. He let their blood flow freely. He sent their souls to someplace else. Valintine went after those who survived though. He began biting them. He bit hard and deep. He tore pieces from them. He tore out chunks of them. They roared. They cursed. They bitched. They moaned. Nothing could be done about it. Valintine moved quickly. He didn’t stick around. The interesting thing about Gillian is the biting. Once you bite one they flail. Because of their lack of balance, they fall. Nine times out of ten they will. He finished everyone off. Blood soaked into the ground. He stood in the blood. He was happy. He smiled inwardly. He felt powerful. He felt strange. It wasn’t a prideful powerful. No. It was a painful powerful. Like just by being here he was in pain. The pain was good though. It was amazing.

He felt different. The beast inside of him. It was calm. He was hungry still, mind you. But he was just…different. He felt better. He felt unusual. The beast inside of him. It was as if it was dormant for now. It was as if he was happy for a change. He was leaving Valintine alone. What could this be? What power came over him now? What is happening to him? What was going to happen to him? What would he become? Is this what it felt like to become an Adjucha? To go through such pain and torment? He began to wonder. He needed to lay down for a while. It would do him some good. He traveled awkwardly to his home. He was slower than usual. The unrest in his stomach made it harder on him still.

He managed though. After knocking aside some trees that is. With his Gillian version of a sigh, he fell over. A loud thunder followed after he hit the floor. His stomach was weird. His body turned on itself. He didn’t feel good. He felt like the animal inside of him was trying to do something. It was like…like it was fusing with him. Not him the Gillian. Him the human. It was weird. It felt strange. It hurt. He could barely stand it. His mind fell apart. He let out a large and long roar. He needed to relax. He needed sleep. But he couldn’t. The beast wouldn’t allow it. It wanted him to suffer. He wanted to sleep. That’s all he wanted. Just some sleep. He would feel better afterwards.

It was Valintine. He saw himself. He saw darkness. He was surrounded by it. The darkness was foreboding. It was dark. It was mystic. He wondered what it could be that made it such. He didn’t have much time to wonder. Something was coming. He didn’t know how it was happening. He didn’t know why it was happening. He just knew something was coming. Something that radiated power. It was dark. It had to be dark. It blended in with the surrounding area. It also made no sounds of footsteps. How was this possible? What was it? What did it want with him? It was impossible to tell. He couldn’t see it. He didn’t know what is was. He didn’t know WHERE it was.

”Hello? Hello? Who…Who are you? Where are you? Answer me, damnit! Don’t fucking do this! Where are you?! His voice echoed in the dark space. Along with his cries of terror, a chuckle emerged. It sounded like it was Valintine’s own voice. But it was so much deeper. So much darker. There was something to it that was ethereal. It was unnatural. ”You assume my form. You assume my shape. You look like me. You smell like me. You even almost sound. Just. Like. Me. But you aren’t me. I know it. You know it. Even though you may not acknowledge it. You aren’t me. I am not you. We are two different people. Born of two different things. But going in the same direction…down.”

As soon as the final word slipped out that thing’s mouth Valintine fell. He fell down. The darkness passed him by. Soon he was under the night of Hueco Mundo. He was no longer a human though. He was too low to be a human. Much too low. He was looking around Valintine the Gillian was not in control of this body. Nor could he even remotely influence it. He was a slave in this dream. He already knew that though. What he didn’t know. Was why he was here? He never dreamt of such things. He never dreamed of this. He always held nightmares close. He was always seeing his friend. He who had no legs. He who got no aid. He was dead. He had no life. He had no chance. Nobody saved him. Nobody helped him. Valintine put this out of his mind though. He wanted to see where this dream would take him.

Valintine moved. He crawled? No. He walked? No not close. He…he did something. What was it? Why did his vision move the way it did? Valintine couldn’t tell. The dream version moved though. It was so so odd. It was terribly unique. Who knows what kind of movement it was. Was kind of distracting. Valintine managed to ignore it though. He wanted to know what he was doing in the dream. What was going on here? He was truly curious. He had to relax though. If he relaxed he would be able to watch this unfold as it should. If he didn’t…well…things could get tricky.

The dream Valintine’s body felt different. It felt unique. It was not something he had ever seen before. No wait. Yes it was. The movement. It was all one. It moved as one being. It had no legs. It was one. It was a muscle. It was it’s own being. It was a snake. Valintine knew what he was. He could feel it now. Their minds were joined in a way. At the same time, however, they were apart. For example. The snake was looking for something. What was it though? What did he desire to find? Who knows. Who knows, indeed.

The snake moved gracefully. His body moved to and fro. It was enchanting almost. If only Valintine could see it. But alas he couldn’t. No. He saw through the eyes of the Adjucha. He felt what the snake felt. Saw what he saw. But he did not know. He did not think. He wasn’t able to. Shame on some level. A blessing on others. Oh well. The snake moved still. He went too. The snake seemed to wander for hours and hours. He just traveled. He was looking for something. Valintine knew this much about it. The snake went on and on for a while more. He then stopped. At first Valintine could process why. It was like his entire world was turned upside down. Everything was shaking. He then realized it wasn’t the world. No. Far from it actually. The world wasn’t shaking. It was the vibrations in the ground. Something was coming. It had about four legs. It had to be an Adjucha. The rate at which they came was too close together.

Suddenly four feet stopped Valintine. The snake didn’t stop for a full second though. He coiled around the leg of the beast. The beast yipped. It was a pathetic sound. He was near. Clearly. He didn’t know what to do. He had never heard of Valintine before. He didn’t know any better. Valintine had made a name for himself by now. He was known as Valintine della Sonno Eterno. Translation? Valintine of the Eternal Sleep. He had another name. Valintine della Lingua Argenta. Translation? Valintine of the Silver Tongue. Why was he named that? He has a base. If you go there you’d find many followers. You’d think nobody would follow a snake. But this was no ordinary snake.

The serpent curled around the body of the canine. He fell over and tried to crush Valintine. He held on though. He had built up a tolerance to such a thing. Many people have tried that. All of them failed except for the first. Valintine wasn’t someone who couldn’t adjust to a situation. He adjusted quickly. He was not something to be taken lighty. Oh well. This foolish adjucha would learn. Valintine. Played. For. Keeps. He unhinged his jaw and bit down on the Adjucha taking a large bite out of him. The Adjucha howled into the forever night.

Valintine continued to bite. He continued to draw blood. All the whiles the Hollow thrashed. He flailed about. He was helpless. He could do nothing. It was wonderful. Valintine could feel his heart racing in fear. He feared Valintine now. Good. Very good indeed. Valintine should be feared. The titles weren’t just petty words he picked out. No. They were words by which his story was told with by others. Valintine smiled as best he could in this form. He uncoiled the beast as he fell. When he came out from under the beast he hissed at it. ”Let all know it t’wassssss I…” He said as he dipped his tail in blood and made a V. Around the V he drew a circle. It was his symbol.

Valintine continued. He worked his way through the desert. He was looking for something. He was searching. He was going to find what he needed. What was it though? What was he looking for? Why could he not find it either? The dreaming Valintine knew it was so long since he had been alive. He knew it had been well over five hundred years. So what could it be? What could be so important? What could be this elusive? What indeed. Why could he not find what he searched for? Why could he not find it…

Valintine moved underground. He moved IN the sands. No longer on the surface. He was far from invisible though. There was a lump of sand moving on the surface. Anyone who didn’t notice it deserved death. They didn’t deserve to live. It was not a subtle movement in the sand. It was something obvious. Something not to be taken lightly. If you could not see it. Then may death come to you swiftly. Should the lump be Valintine, then death certainly would come swiftly. He didn’t believe in playing with his food. He just wanted to end the lives of others. He wanted to install fear into their hearts. He wanted to watch them fall. He wanted to bathe in their suffering. He loved it all. He adored it!

The only thing Valintine loved more than fear. The only the he loved more than suffering. He loved only one thing more. What was that thing? Earth. Not the planet. The element. He loved Earthly things. Quartz, sand, gems, minerals. He loved it all. Mainly because that was his element. So being here, under the sand, put him at ease. He felt at home here. He was in his mother’s arms. He was welcomed here. He was accepted. With Mother on all sides he was well protected. With Mother on all sides, he would always be prepared. Valintine held no illusions he was no invincible. Far from it. But, he was not defenseless either.

Valintine stopped. Something was wrong. He sensed something great. It wasn’t just great. It was…unimaginable. It was large. He felt power. True power. Unchecked, raw, wild power that slammed into his mind. What was this beast? What could possibly command such a thing? Was this what he was looking for? Was this it? He rose from underground. He looked around. A wall. He saw a wall. This wall seemed to go on forever. It seemed to never end. What could it be doing here? Surely he wasn’t searching for a wall. ”And so it is true…the rumors have truth to them. Dying men tell no lies after all. Las Noches. Home of the Espada, the most powerful Hollow here. What is it one must do to get inside, I wonder? Hm…such a peculiar place. Why have I never seen this before? No matter. I will be inside of it one day…” The beings inside those dark halls continued to flare. It was a warning now. Telling Valintine to get out or to die. Valintine left…for now.

Valintine stirred in his sleep. He tossed and he turned in the real. Unknown to him most of these sensations he was feeling were completely real. He was truly beginning to change into…something. What it was was unknown yet. Such a thing had never happened to his memory. A bonding. That is the best word for it. Bonding with one’s beast. He bonded with the serpent within him. He bonded with it so much, in fact. That be became it. That he lost his human skin, and gained scales. Or at least the skin didn’t show. His human eyes became slits. They also turned a violent yellow. Why was this though? What prompted this change inside of him?

(( Due to length issues this is broken up into two parts))

Inside the mind of Valintine…

There stood the tall black haired man. Valintine as he was when he was a human. He was a charming man back then. Maybe he still was. Who was to say as he was now well above the high of most buildings. Nonetheless, he had black hair. It was short, but in the back it was slightly longer. His eyes were a mystic violet. They were deep. They were dark. They were amused. Anyone could tell you he always looked like he was up to something. The eyes of Hermes some said. Like he had pulled off the prank of the century. His skin was a little shade darker than pale. You’d think he’d burn easy. You’d be wrong. He didn’t usually burn at all actually. He had a amazing good natural protection against the sun. Only on the hottest of days did he ever put on sunblock.

He wore clothing that he usually wore. A nice silk button up shirt. It was crimson. It matched his skin and his hair rather nicely. His shit was open though. It exposed his lean and muscled chest to the darkness. Yes. He wore no shirt under it. Shocking to most, but he was not most. He preferred to wear his shirts as such. It was pleasing to him. He enjoyed such games like this. Why is it a game? Simple. People make it such. His chest is flawless in skin. It, like the rest of his body, is smooth like silk. It looks like it too. The muscles are there. He is athletic in build. The game is simple. Don’t get caught staring. Valintine always won. Why? Because he knew what to look for.

Valintine spent years and years studying humans. He took class after class. He observed his friends. He watched his family. He studied their actions. He tried to understand. He knows body language. He knows the slight shift of emotion in the eyes. He knows more than some professionals. That is not a claim that he would make though. Merely public speculation. Valintine didn’t consider himself a profession by any means. A professional what? Well a Psychologist. He studied to be a Psychologist when he was alive. Even when he was dead. He used his time as a Spirit to truly observe. Even more so as a Shinigami. It thrilled him to no end. The use of such things made him feel empowered. Maybe empowered was the wrong word…but he certainly didn’t feel weak.

His pants were made from leather. But it was a soft leather. He wasn’t sure where it came from. He missed the information when it was given. But he enjoyed it. It felt nice on his skin. They were fitted around the waist so a belt wasn’t needed. They were also baggy around the legs for easy flexibility. The ends of the pants fell over a pair of black boots. Valintine often dressed like this. Mixing formal with casual in such a way that they sang in harmony. It was a talent of his. Some would call him an abomination for it. He would just shrug such people away. It was neither their body, nor their life. So they either got lost, or went away. As long as they were out of his face, he didn’t care.

This was Valintine though. Here he was. The human before the Shinigami. The human before his death. His body was there. Standing upon darkness and surrounded by it too. He didn’t move though. He didn’t react. It was as if he didn’t notice that he was surrounded. Maybe he didn’t notice. Was this a dream though? Was this real? What was happened? What would happen? This questions flew through the Hollow’s head. He wondered what was going to happen to the body. Was he going to die? Was this another torment? A form of torture made up by Fate. Delivered to him by some god or goddess of sleep. This was a nightmare. He didn’t want to see his old body. It pained him so. He could no longer return to such a thing.

This Valintine in darkness blinked once. He blinked twice. He blinked a third time again. He was alive. He was breathing now. He moved his muscles. He began to walk. A voice ran out. ”Closer…Closer…” Valintine continued walking. He didn’t ever break out into a run. He didn’t ever stop. He never looked around. He just went forward. Did he know where he was going? If he did it didn’t show. He was like a robot. He seemed mindless. He seemed controlled. He seemed forced. It was like his body wasn’t his own. Maybe it wasn’t even a body though. Who was to say? Valintine certainly wasn’t. He didn’t understand this. He didn’t know what was going on.

Valintine continued walking. Waves of power began to radiate off of him. It was gentle at first. It was subtle almost. The waves were not large. They made the air around him wavy. Every five steps the power increased. Every five steps more waves came. They got stronger. They got stronger still. Nothing seemed to be triggering it though. They just came. They flew off him. They began pumping out faster. Over and over again. He released waves of energy off of him. Sheer power slammed into darkness. ”Come…come…come to me…come…” The voice sounded like Valintine’s. It sounded so much like his. It wasn’t that. It was painfully obvious. It was hard for the dreamer to remember that.

Valintine’s body walked. He walked forward. He radiated raw power. He pushed back the darkness. Yes. The darkness moved. It moved around Valintine. It was then that the dreamer realized it. Valintine wasn’t in darkness. He was suffocated. He was isolated. He was alone. He was stranded. There was no real darkness. This was what was happening. The turmoil in his mind. It was because of this. All of it came down to this. But what was the darkness? Who did the hands belong to that cut him off as they did. What could be done about it as well? Could he truly do anything? Or was he to be cursed forever in this darkness? Would he be forgotten in the shadows? Left to his own demise…

No. No. Valintine would not be left here. He would not be someone’s pet to be cast aside. He would grow. He would survive. Power flew off of him now in a sphere. The darkness didn’t seem to like that. It tried to tighten around him. It wanted him dead. Why was it fighting so hard? It was in pain. Valintine could tell it was. Darkness and Shadows make no sound though. They are silent assassins. Cut them if you will. Stab them if you can. Blast them away if you might. They will never make a sound. They will never stop. Determined to kill you, they are. And so kill you they shall. One way or another, Darkness always prevails.

Valintine’s power beat off of him. It pounded against the darkness. The Darkness pounded back. Valintine continued to walk. The Darkness moved with him. Valintine could not get away from it. It was not going to leave. It would follow Valintine until it consumed him. The dreamer was in pain. The dreamer suffered. He wanted to tear at Darkness. He wanted to fire a cero. He wanted to beat at it. He wanted to scream at it. He just wanted to be let out. He didn’t know what was going on. He wanted to leave. He wanted to go. He didn’t want this anymore. Screw power. Screw evolution. He just wanted to go. He didn’t care if this damned him for the rest of his life. Just let him out.

The human slowly but surely began to slow down. He showed no signs of speeding up either. He just began to slow. Slower and slower he moved. It was as if weights were put upon him. His power waves slowed too. Darkness was winning. At this rate nothing would be left of Valintine. The Darkness would consume him. It would be his doom. Here in a land of shadows. Here would be his grave. Here would be his last stand. He would not make it out of this alive. He never thought it would end like this. He always thought it would be on the battlefield. He always thought he’d die by the blade. Not that he ever fancied swordplay. Tis not to say that he was a stranger to it. But he always preferred hand-to-hand fighting.

Valintine began gasping. He couldn’t breathe. He was losing body functions once more. He was going to return to his statue state. He began looking around. It was like he just noticed what was going on. ”You cannot do it. You sssshall die. You ssssshall DIE. Don’t play the fool. Give up. Give in. You cannot hope to win. There isssss nothing you can do. You ssssshall die here all alone. Cold, and dark, and black like ssssstone. You will never ever leave. You’re not but a sssslave to me. Ssssso give up. Give in. You have no hope. You haven’t a chanccce. You musssst ssssee it. You musssst know. You are no true fool. You are not blind. My wordsss do not fall upon clossssed earsss.”

The voice hissed after it finished. As it spoke it’s voice rolled over Valintine. It sank deep inside of him. It touched his core. It saw into his heart. It knew his fears. It knew his passions. It knew everything about him. Maybe even things he himself didn’t know. How was this possible? What was this? Who was this? Who could do such a thing? To peek inside one’s mind and see what is is a powerful thing. To look inside and see what was is powerful too. But. To see what shall be is stronger still. This voice. This man. This…this thing. It could do all of that. It knew all of that. And it will know more before the nightmare finished.

Whatever this voice was. Whoever this person was. It had a strong hold on Valintine. He stopped moving. He stopped breathing. A look of terror painted on his face. He was bound by unseen chains. He was halted in time. And the dreamer was forced to watch. Slits. Eyes. A pink river. A sound. No. Not separate. All in one. Yes. It was a face. Not a river. It was a tongue. A forked tongue. It was a snake. The golden hues of the beast looked at Valintine. Not the human. Valintine the dreamer. It stared at him. The tongue drew all over the human. It tasted him. It tested him. Was it good enough to eat? Would he eat it? Could he eat it? Valintine didn’t want to know.

He didn’t want to be here. He wanted to wake up. Nightmares be gone! No more nightmares! He didn’t want them. He didn’t want them anymore. He envied the normal Hollow now. He was jealous of them. Why? Why could he dream? Why should he dream? Why must he suffer? Other Gillian were mindless. They were beasts! Why should they be spared this pain? Was it something he did? Or something he didn’t do? What could be done? Can this be changed? He begged and pleaded for help. He sent prayers to every source he knew. Someone help! Someone! Anyone! He wanted out. Those eyes. Those dark dark eyes. As yellow as they are dark. As evil as they are deep. Coy, amused, sadistic. The snake enjoyed this. He knew he caused pain. What was this creature? What did he want with him?

The snake opened it’s mouth in a hiss. It slithered around Valintine. It let out hiss after hiss. Each hiss was worse than the last. Each hiss chilled the dreamer. Each hiss was deadly in it’s own way. It shook Valintine up to hear such things. It made him wonder how much longer he would last in this dream. Maybe it wasn’t a dream anymore. Maybe he had died. Was he truly gone? Maybe he died. Maybe he died while sleeping. What was going to happen? What IS happening to him? He wanted out. He wanted to go. He screamed and shouted in his mind.[/i] Let me out!! Let me out! Nothing changed though. He was a prisoner to his own mind. He had to suffer through this. He had to do it. Less he be damned for the rest of eternity.

He tried to calm down. He tried to relax. It was so hard. The hissing. That horrible hissing. Oh how it cut him. How it drove him to the edge of his sanity. Maybe he already was over the edge. Maybe he was well into insanity. It was hard to tell. He didn’t like this though. He wanted to be in control. Why should he be put through this. He was going to die. He had to die. There was no other option. The power. The power by which he was held was strong. It was terribly terribly strong. What was happening to him? What was going to become of him? He couldn’t relax. He just couldn’t. Too many questions. Not enough answers. For every answer there were five questions. It was hopeless. He was doomed.

Things changed. Suddenly the darkness faded. He could breathe again. A bell rang. Valintine shot up. He gasped. He could breathe once more! It was real! He was…he was at school. Why was he at school? Didn’t he die? Was it all a dream? Yes. Yes. Yes it had to be a dream. Why else would he be here in school? Yea…It was a dream. The teacher was a female. She looked at the class. She was sweet. What most boys would call “Hot” also. She was tall. She was dark haired. She was pale. She had red lips. She had large breasts as well. Part of her shirt was unbuttoned too. She had on a short skirt. She also wore tall heels. Her eyes were dark. Her eyes were cautious. They were informed. They were deadly. She was a seductress if he ever did see one.

[color=violet]”So so glad you joined us again. Valintine. I was hoping you’d come back.”[/olor] She began walking to him.

Valintine looked at her. He looked into the eyes. The boys groaned. They were jealous. The girls rolled their eyes. They were stuck-up. Valintine? Well. Valintine was scared. He was truly scared. Terrified. Horrified. Appalled. Confused. Scared. These things ran through him. With every beat of his heart a new emotion came up. Never lust though. That seemed to annoy the teacher. She lived on lust. She wanted lust. Why would he not give it? Why would he not lust? She wanted him to. She needed him to. Valintine wouldn’t though. He couldn’t. He was fearful of her. Even if he could lust for her he wouldn’t. Why? Because she wasn’t his type.

The teacher placed her hands on his desk and leaned down. She was doing it on purpose. She knew what she was doing. She was tempting Valintine. Valintine knew what she was doing. It was a trick. A test maybe. To see how long he could hold out. If it was a class test. They all would have failed. The boys would have anyway. The men behind Valintine strained to see her breasts. The ones to the side did even more. A few actually got up and moved to see. [color=violet]”Are you okay, sweetie pie? Do you need some…private tutoring? I’d love to help. I’m sure this is quite hard. I’d be happy to help reduce the tension.” She bat her eye lashes at Valintine. Valintine continued to look her in the eyes. Hatred flashed. Annoyance flashed. She was getting annoyed quickly. She didn’t like being ignored. This was Valintine’s power. Indomitable will. If he wanted something, he’d do it. This is what made him such a threat. He was cunning. He was quick. He would not falter.

The bell rang again. Class was over. Valintine stood up and pushed past the teacher. Why didn’t he remember her? Well. . .He couldn’t remember a lot of his child hood. But this wasn’t his childhood. This seemed to be only a year before his death. He was in college now. On a large campus in the United States. So why didn’t he remember mer? You’d think he would. But he couldn’t. No. He forgot. This was a dream that was over. He never died. Of course he didn’t remember her. He had not met her yet. Okay…it was alright now though. He smiled to himself. He was being silly. Oh well. He just needed to see his roommates again and all would be fine.

Nothing bad was going to happen. But wait. That’s what he thought before he. . .no. No. He wasn’t dead. He never died. He was fine. Everything was going to work out. He let out a nervous chuckle. He smiled at student as they walked by. They all glared at him. Some snicker and whispered. What was this? Why did they snicker and stare so? Valintine shrugged the thought off. It didn’t matter why. Such things did not matter. Such things were trivial. He was here to learn. He was here to become better. He was not here to make friends. He was not here to care what others thought. He was not after popularity.

He let loose a soft sigh as he entered his dorm. When he did he discovered that things were not right. He had three roommates he thought. But here there were none. In fact. This room was not his dorm room at all. There were gray walls here. One white bed. And a brown suitcase by the foot of the bed. No. . .This was not his dorm. . .This was not it at all. What happened? What is going on? Why was everything so strange? ”No. . .It wasn’t strange. It was college. It was a prank. Yeah. . .A prank. . .That’s what it is” Valintine whispered to himself. Inside he was scared though. He hated to be alone. He grew up alone. Would he be fated to die alone as well? He was always alone. Always. Always looking. Always searching. Always yearning for a companion. For a friend he searched. For a lover he wished. For someone he wandered.

The world around Valintine shattered in that instant. He began to fall. He fell long and hard. He moved through white areas. He moved through gray areas. All the while his body aged. Not once he did stop. Not once did someone come. Nobody came to help him. He was on his own. He was alone. He was fated to be this way. Alone. Isolated. Ignored. Hated. Deserted. Alone.

He stopped falling. It was dark. He couldn’t see. Vali. Hey. Lazy bones! Wake up Lazy!” The voice. It sounded so familiar. No. It couldn’t be her. It couldn’t be. She was dead. She died. She abandoned him. No. She is dead. He is dead. Everyone he knew has left him. She is no more. He is no more. There is nothing left for him. ”I said get up!” Chilling water washed over him. He shot up and opened his eyes. He gasped for breath. He looked at the attacker. It was her. He looked stunned. It was his best friend. The only person he dared to trust. Yuki Onne. Her long white hair was pulled back. It was in a French braid. A rare site. She did not usually go for such looks. Her tan skin was always perfect. A bronze goddess, as most said. Her eyes were annoyed though. Her lips turned into a frown. She was not happy at all.

”Do you realize what time it is?! What the hell is wrong with you?! Do you just not want to go! If you don’t then fine! I’ll go with someone else! Someone who fucking appreciates my company!” She stood up and stormed out of his room. She slammed the door behind her. Valintine stumbled out of bed. Naked, but he didn’t notice yet. He ran out into the hallway and grabbed her arm. She turned and glared. He sighed. ”I do. I’m sorry. I had a nightmare. Must have lost track of time. I’ll be ready in five.” Yuki rolled her eyes. She jerked her arm back. She walked down the stairs. She would wait. Valintine did as he said. He ran back. Threw on some clothes. He ran down stairs. She was there. Leaning on the door. Her foot was tapping. She was waiting. She was annoyed. They were late. They had a movie date. Well. . .Not really a date. They weren’t a couple by any means. Just really close friends.

Why was she acting this way though? What purpose did it serve? Yes. He overslept. He had done it before. So why was she mad? Was it something he said? Did he talk in his sleep? Women are odd. Valintine opened the door and they left. He went outside into the. . .rain? Why was it raining? He remembered it was supposed to be sunny. Instead winds were high. Rain fell hard. Thunder roared. Lightning danced. What was going on. ”Stop standing around! We’re already late! Fucking move it!” Valintine jolted to attention. ”Yeah. . .yeah, coming. . .” Yuki scowled. She rolled her eyes. They began to walk. He walked. She walked. They walked. They slowly moved. The rain beat on him. Every touch of rain hurt. Not physically. Emotionally it hurt. It whispered things. It told him things.

Yuki would glare at him sometimes. She was a step ahead of him. She would yell. She would scowl. She was mad. Vali couldn’t do anything. He was a slave. He was a prisoner. Why was it like this? This wasn’t the Yuki he knew. The real Yuki was sweet and caring. She probably would have thrown water on him too. But she would have laughed at how silly he looked afterwards. Why was she so mean? He didn’t like it. He didn’t want to be left alone. He hated to be alone. His mother left him. His father despised him. His siblings avoided him. Why was his life like this? Why was it filled with pain? Why did it hurt so much? Was he truly hated so much? Was he truly so loathed?

The rain beat on him. The rain touched him. The rain whispered to him. It spoke to him. It told him things. It made him want to cry. With every touch of rain died. With every touch he faded a bit more. His soul was being torn away. ”Worthless. Pathetic. Weak. Loathed. Hated. Alone. Alone. ALONE! You will never NEVER amount to anything. You will always be alone. Nothing good will ever happen to you. You pathetic excuse for a being. You waste of space! Who could love you?! Who could like you?! You are despicable. You are horrid. You. Are. ALONE!!” Valintine fell onto his knees. He couldn’t take it. It was too much. It was just too much.

”Pathetic! You cannot even make the walk?! FAILURE!!! Why did I ever speak to you? Why did I ever want to be your friend?! You were alone when I found you! You were alone when we spoke! You are always alone! And now I know why! I hate you! I hate you! I HATE YOU!!!” Yuki stormed off. Valintine struggled to his feet. N-no! Yuki! Wait!” He tried to run after her. Even as he moved though. She moved faster. One step ahead of him. One step forward. He was one step back. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t make it. It was going to fail. His attempts meant nothing here. He was always going to fail. ”Yuki! Please! Stop! Wait for me! Please! I’m sorry!” She stopped. Valintine smiled. He fell at her feet. ”Thank you! Thank you, Yuki! Thank you!”

Yuki slowly turned around. Her face was red. Her eyes burned. Her fists were clenched. She backhanded him. He flew into the street. He was wet. Tears streamed down his face now. His cheek was red from the blow. He was so fragile. He didn’t know what to do. He was alone now. She was leaving him. ”You are so pathetic. Saying you’re sorry? Regret is what gets you killed. You are alone because you are weak. The weak regret. The strong move on. The pathetic dwell in the past. The strong see the future. You are weak. You are pathetic. You will never amount to anything. I despise you. I hate you. I loathe you. You pathetic waste of space. You annoying troll. Ugly. Horrible. Despicable. Pathetic. Annoying. Weakling. All of these words are you. They all define you. They all are synonyms of Valintine. They don’t just define you. They ARE you. I hate you. I despise you. You pathetic waste of space.” She walked away. She left him. He was alone.

He was crying. The rain continued to whisper. The thunder laughed at him. The lighting giggled. He could do nothing. He couldn’t possibly help. He couldn’t possibly help himself. He was helpless. He was hopelessly lost. What could be done? What could he do? He could die. He could quit. If he died then it was solved. His problems of being alone would be solved. He could finally be free. He just had to kill himself. He was not going to be alone anymore. ”Yes. . .Yes. I just die. I kill myself. I bleed. I create a river of blood. I solve all of my issues that way. What could possibly go wrong? What could possibly be any worse that this? Nothing. . .nothing at all. Kill myself. End it all. Suicide isn’t bad. It is good. It is helpful. It is wonderful. I can be rid of my problems.”

The rain stopped. It just stopped. It didn’t come back. The thunder faded too. The lightning went with the thunder. Clear skies were there. He was left in the street. He stood up. His clothes were dry. Yuki was coming down the street. She was smiling. She had on blue jeans. She wore black sneakers. She also had on a tight white tee shirt. She was smiling at him. Her hair was draped over her shoulders. Her beautiful eyes were glittering in the sun. She was basically skipping down the road. What was going on? He couldn’t possibly be alive. This couldn’t possibly be real. How could it be? It couldn’t be. The snake! It was the snake! This was his fault! Yes. Yes! It was all his fault! But…it felt so real. It looked so real. It sounded so real. How could it not be real. No. It was real. It had to be real. That was the only explanation.

Valintine stood up and smiled. Yuki stopped in front of him. [color=white]”Hey silly. What are you doing here in the street? I was just coming to see you. You’re so silly.” She giggled. Valintine smiled. ”Yuki! I’m glad to see you. I um. . .Well. . .I really don’t know what I am doing out here. I just kind of woke up here.” Yuki laughed and walked with him. ”Well. Don’t forget our plans. We are going shopping remember? So meet me at the mall in five okay? I have to run home real fast. I will be there quick. I super promise! Don’t worry about it.’

Valintine’s eyes widened. He ran to her and held onto her arm. ”No! Please! Please don’t go!” Yuki smiled and gently removed his hand. ”Don’t worry Vali. I told you. You’re my bestest friend EVER! I’d never leave you. I promise. I will meet you at the front of the mall. Nothing will happen. I will be there. Why are you so freaked out today? I will be there, I promise. We will always be together. Even in death. Here. Take this.” She took off one of her bracelets and slipped it onto his wrist. ”A promise from me to you. Now then. I will meet you at the mall. I promise.” She smiled and ran off.

Valintine stood there. He remained in the street for what seemed like an eternity. Really? It was closer to like thirty seconds. He shook his head. He looked down. He smiled at the bracelet. ”You promised.” He ran off to the mall. It wasn’t far. It was literally less than a minuet away. That seemed wrong though. He remembered it being farther away. Why was it so close? No matter. It didn’t matter. It was close. He would be with Yuki. He smiled at that thought. She told him he was her best friend. That made him happy. He arrived at the mall. There she was. She ran over to him giggling. ”See? I am here! I told you I wouldn’t leave you. Now. Let. Us. Go SHOPPING!” She laughed and ran off.

Valintine ran after her. They walked around. They went to the food court first. He sat down. She sat down next to him. It was relaxing. They ate and drank. Valintine laughed. He forgot all about Shinigami. He forgot about Hollow. He didn’t even think about death. It wasn’t something he remotely thought about. It was relaxing. He was loving this. He loved being with Yuki. He got up and threw their trash out. He went back and she was gone. He looked all around. She wasn’t anywhere to be found. Where was she? She said she’d never leave. Why had she gone? Why did she leave him? He heard laughter. There were giggles. He turned around. There she was. He smiled. She smiled. It was a soft and gentle smile. ”HAha. I TOLD you I’d never leave you.” He smiled and nodded.

They spent a few hours together. They bought some stuff. They ate again. They talked. They laughed. They ran. As usual, they got in trouble with the security guards for running. As usual, they ran again anyway. When they were done they walked out. Valintine smiled at her. She giggled at him. As soon as she stepped out it happened. Bang. Bang. Bang. She let out a final shriek. On the other side of the street he stood. A jealous ex. A stalker. He wanted her back. She didn’t want to go back. ”NO!” He knelt by her bleeding body. She was dead. The man ran off. ”You promised me! You told me you wouldn’t leave! Why did you do it?! Why did you leave me?! Why? Why? WHY?!”

Yuki’s body was blown away. She turned into white dust. The dust reminded him of the Sands of Hueco Mundo. Her remained blew up into the sky. It glittered in the sun. Valintine cried. His tears were blood though. They were not water. What was happening to him? What was going on? He needed answers! He needed help! Why? Why couldn’t he find it? Why was this happening to him?! He wanted to die. He begged for death. He needed death! He craved it. He loved it. He wanted to hold Thanatos close to him. Why couldn’t he? Why would it come? What had he done? Was he really so hated? Was Life truly so cruel?

The world began to fall apart. It began to crumble. The sound of glass shattering happened as layer after layer fell. He looked up at the glass like world fall apart. He begged for a piece to hit him. He wanted it to strike him down. They didn’t though. If a piece was on track to hit him it moved away. A piece didn’t land anywhere within five feet of him. Why? Why couldn’t he die? Why couldn’t he stop living? He just wanted it to end. He wanted the pain to go away. He wanted it to end. Just to go away. He cried again. This time it was tears. They washed away the blood on his cheek. He fell to his knees. What was going to happen to him?

When the wall shattered the floor began to call out. The floor fell down in a circle. Again it was the sound of glass. He couldn’t take it. He begged for it to hurry. He wanted to fall. He wanted this to be over. He looked down. He smiled wide. It was almost his time. ”What? WHAT?! No! No! NO!!! Why?! Why isn’t it falling! Why isn’t it falling?!” He looked down at the glass like world under him. It wouldn’t fall. He was kneeling on a circular platform. He cried. He was alone. He was isolated. Nothing was going to work. It was pointless to try. He could not be with anyone. It just wasn’t going to happen. He needed to accept that. He needed to understand that it wouldn’t ever work for him. He was cursed to be alone. He would always be alone. It was not meant to be. He was fated for a life of isolation.

Valintine looked up. There it was. The cause of his problems. The bane of his existence. It smiled at him. He didn’t know how he knew, but it did. It smiled. It was happy. It enjoyed this. It enjoyed his suffering. He was such a sadist. He was happy. He was thrilled. He was enjoying this more than anything. He wanted to rip that smile off. He wanted to punch him. He wanted to destroy him. He wanted his blood on his hands. He wanted to bathe in the blood. He wanted to end his life. He wanted to do it slowly. He wanted to watch him suffer. This beast has always been here. He made him believe it was real. He thought that this was a game. That Valintine could be played with like that.

Valintine stood up. The snake was there. He hissed. His forked tongue flicked out. It slid down. It slid to stop before Valintine. ”You are weak. You are alone. What hope do you have? Why do you bother? You have no chance. Not a chance at all. You are pathetic.” Valintine looked at the snake. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. How could this be true? No. It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be true. Could it? He feared what he said. He didn’t fear the words. He feared that there was truth there. He feared that he was speaking words that were absolutely true. He didn’t want them to be. He wanted to be fine. He wanted to be okay. What was wrong with him? Why was he acting like this? How did it get this bad? It couldn’t have been over night. Something happened. ”I ssssse you. Trying to fix thisss. Trying to figure it out. I can tell you thissss. Don’t. Bother. It doesssn’t work like that. You will alwaysssss be weak. You will alwaysssss be pathetic.” Valintine fell to his knees.

Power shoved out of the snake. It hit Valintine. Valintine fell over. The snake slithered on top. It looked him in the eyes. It was so dark. It was foreboding. It scared Valintine. ”Yesss. Fear me. Fear me. FEAR ME. You need to learn. Learn your place. Learn your purpossssse. Oh wait. YOU HAVE NONE!!! You are forever curssssed. You will be alone. You will be weak. You will be isssssolated.” Valintine couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He shook his head. What was it. There was something he was supposed to remember. He needed to think. He wanted to think! Why couldn’t he think? There was a memory. A memory he needed to think of. Someone told him something. Someone said something important. Something that would help him here was said.

”You will never have friendsssss. You will never have friendsssss. You. Will. NEVER. Have. Friendsssss.” That was it! His friend. He was a Shinigami. His friend told him something important. It was something he loved to hear. Something he held close to him during his time there. What was it though? Something about fear? No. Not fear. What was it? ”I know you. I knew you. I will know you. I know what you are. I know what you have been. I know what you will be. You will be weak. You have feared me. You do fear me. You will fear me!” FEAR! Yes. It was fear. He remembered now. He saw him. The snake faded. He was with his friend. He was in the real world. He saw it all. He knew what was happening. He remembered what was said. He was looking at his friend. His friend, usually a jokester, was serious. He was speaking.

”It is our duty. It is our right. We were chosen by the Powers That Be. We were chosen by our Zanpakuto. We can do this. Now then. Are you ready to go? Or will you stay here and cower in fear? Will you be weak? Or will you be strong? No matter. I am going out anyway. It is what is right. It is what is needed. I am going. Come with me if you wish. Remember. They. Can. And. Will. Kill. You…Say it with me damnit! They. Can. And. Will. Kill. You. Good. I think you get it then. For the King! For glory! For honor! And of course fawning women.

But seriously. Remember something if you remember nothing else. Fear. Your. Power. Fear what you do. Fear what you can do. If you don’t you will be weak. Why? Simple, my friend. Because it is only through total understanding of our full capabilities that we can learn to unlock our true potential. That includes fear as well as admiration. Why do you think I ask you to practice your kido on me? So I can fear it. So I know what my enemy feels. So I understand. Fear what you do. Fear what you can do. Do this. Learn this. Understand this. If you do, nobody can stop you. Unless they best you in skill.”


Valintine smiled at his friend. He was right. Fear his power. But it went beyond that. He had to fear himself. There was nothing to fear but that. So he was alone, big deal. People come. People go. People stay. People leave. People are people. People slip up. People make mistakes. That is no reason to cry. That just means you toughen up. That means you man-up. That means you move on. You do not dwell on it. You do not live in the past. He saw the snake again. He grabbed it. He stood up. He looked at it and threw it away. When he did he looked up. His fists were clenched. He shook his head and chuckled.

”I don’t know who you are. I don’t know where you hail from. I do not know what you are. But know this. I do not fear you. I fear no man but myself. I fear no one. I fear nothing. I can fear nothing. Why should I? Should I fear a mortal over death? Should I fear death over a mortal? No. No. Why? Because it is pointless. Why should I fear what I do not know? Rather I should embrace the darkness. Embrace the unknown. Fear what I do know. Fear me and my potential. You claim to know me. You claim to have known me. You claim you will know me. But you know nothing.

You ruled me with fear. You used me. You played me. You toyed with me. You taunted me. No more, I tell you. I am not the slave. I will never be a slave. I will always be a leader. I will never bow to anyone. I will never submit. I will never lose sight. You? What are you to me? You are a pest. You are a nuisance. Death is a fitting thing for you. Sadly, it is far to merciful. There is nothing that I would want more than to kill you. If I could kill you now I would. I know you are not real though. I know you are not real! I reject you. I fear you no more. I don’t fear you anymore. I have no reason to. You hold me no more. You have power over me no more. You couldn’t have hoped to rule me for long.

I do not beg for death. I do not want to die. I do not need death. What is my escape? What isn’t my escape. Who am I? What am I not? Why do I ask this? Why not? You do not understand me. You do not understand anything about me! Do not make such a claim ever again. I will not hesitate to strike you down. Throw whatever illusions you want at me. Do what you might with me. I will repel it. I will smite it. I will kill it. You couldn’t hope to possibly best me ever again. I will always win. I will always come out on top. You will fail. You will lose. You will die. If you ever challenge me again I will kill you.

You exist in my mind. You exist in my space. MINE. This is not your world. This is my world. My place. If you wish to exist here fine. But you will obey me. You will bow to me. You will respect me. You will follow me. What I say is law. My word is divine law. You will never NEVER question me. You will never challenge me. My word is law. My word is correct. You will never NEVER question it. Redundant as it is, it is true. It is something WILL get into your head. If I must say it a thousand times than so be it.”

A laughter came from the darkness. The darkness flew back and relieved a white space. A long black snake with a red bottom laid before him. It rose up. It looked at Valintine. ”You mortals are so amusing. I am lucky. You are the most fun I have seen in a very very long time. You wish to rule? You wish to be in charge? Fine then. Rule. See if I care. Oh. And before you ask. No. I do not have a lisp. Such a thing is for dramatics only. I truly do not care if you rule or not. You will die. You are no more immortal that the tree you sleep next to. You will die. You can die. You shall die. Death is the answer for every being. It is their final stand. What matters is what you do until then. Until then my power is yours. You have survived. Most do not. I am truly impressed. It is something I honestly thought you’d not live through. I was kind of hoping for it at one point.

It was amusing to watch you cry in the street. To see your reaction to being hit. HA! I thought you would die then and there. You know. All you have to do to die was simple. Just quit. You only moved on cause of your damn will. Ah. I suppose your will is amusing too. If it wasn’t for that you’d have died. Your will let you live. Your will is powerful. In your darkest times fall back on it. I can tell you not what I am. I am many things. I am you. I am another. I am nothing. I am something. I am an idea. I am reality. I am maleficent. I am benevolent. All you need to know is that power is temporary. It comes. It goes. Like the people in your life. There is one thing you have though. One thing that won’t change. One constant. One truth. One reality. Will. Yes. Your will. It is eternal. It is immortal.

Powers will not always be there. Will can be though. It is the safety net of your life. Remember this. Follow it. Love it. Live it. Respect it. Know it. Understand it. Then and only than is it possible. Then and only then can it be true. Then and only then will you be powerful. Not false power. Real power. Honest power. True power.” The snake got on the ground and moved around Valintine’s feet. It moved up his leg. It slid across to the other leg. It moved up his body. It circled around his waist. It moved up his stomach. It touched his chest and moved. It went up to his arm. It slid across then to his collar bone and onto the other arm. It slid back up and wrapped around his neck. It was tightening. Valintine couldn’t breathe. Something told him to hold still though.

Wherever his body touched was warm. It wasn’t a physical warmth. It was an emotional warmth. It was a warmth that no cold could blow away. It was a warmth that was immortal. Something inside of Valintine changed. Something awakened. Something that was deep within him. Felt so warm. It felt so good. It was like meeting a lost friend. It was like seeing a dead relative. It was like an immortal happiness. He loved it. He didn’t want it to go. He didn’t want to lose this feeling. If he lost it he’d die. If he lost it he’d cry. He wanted it to stay. Even as his breath faded he wanted it. Even as he began to close his eyes he wanted it. Even as darkness once again began to take control he wanted it. If anything he wanted it more.

”Power. Lust. Passion. Desire. Greed. Lonliness. Embrace this. Love them. Trust them. Trust yourself. You will never fail. Never shall you die. You will always be strong this way. Trust in your power. Trust in your will. Trust in me. Trust in eternity! Embrace it. Love it. Trust it.”

The voice faded. Darkness ruled his world once more. He was alone. How did this happen? Was it all a dream? Was this the end? No. He felt something. Wind? No. He felt warm. Why? What was this warmth? It was Earth. Okay. So he felt the Earth. Was he awake. He couldn’t see. Oh. Right. Eyes. He needed to open his eyes. He opened them. He saw the moon. He saw the starts. He turned his head. There were trees. He looked back up. He was alive. ”I. Am. Valintine. I. Am. Strong. I. Fear. No one.” He said this to himself a few times. Each word was solid. It was true. He meant it. This was his power. His will. He held it close to him. He lived in it. It was amazing to him. To have awakened his true potential. With this will he would move beyond this simple Gillian body.
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